warning :
SPOILER ALERT!
Yesterday, i went with five girls from the gang (see : previous post) to see Sex and The City : The Movie. The movie has been playing here in the city for almost three weeks, and we’ve been planning to make a girls night out by watching it together even since before the movie was released here, but we haven’t found the right time to watch it.
Until yesterday.
While we watch SATC, we kindly asked the other two guys who tagged along with us, to watch Kungfu Panda. It was strictly GIRLS ONLY. The guys are a gay couple, but they are not coming out yet, so i guess tagging along with us to watch SATC would be giving up their secret identity wholeheartedly. So no, they decided to watch Kungfu Panda instead.
We spent time waiting for the play time by hanging around in nearby coffee shop, abusing our cameras and crushing over a hot guy on the next table. also discussing our gay couple friend, actually, but we’d rather die than admitting that we’re talking about our own dear friends 
so, about the movie.
i was in awe for the first half of the film. can’t believe Carrie would get married with Big. finally. after that repeated break ups and make ups, they finally together. and the thing is, THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER! dammit.
i was sooo envy of the way they’re interacting with each other. with the way Big called Carrie by “Kid.”, with the loving way Big always look at Carrie. Can’t believe our SATC hero is finally getting her happy ending. Despite the fact that Big was kind of commitment-phobia, and always complicate things with his own thoughts and worries.
We can definitely tell they’re meant for each other with just looking at them. The kind of couple which gets you to think “Why on earth do they take years to finally decide to be in an official relationship?”, since they look so happy together.
I would like to believe, that things will go that smooth. but then again, there wouldn’t be a movie.
Big got cold feet, and he freaked out the day of the marriage. He told Carrie this the night before, and i actually admire the way Carrie calmed him down. Despite of her own worries, remembering Big and Carrie has always been a dramatic couple with their on-and-offs.
But it happened anyway. Big took off from the venue, just when Carrie just arrived at the wedding venue, only to change his mind and turnaround his car – just in time to pass Carrie (who took off as well, due to her disappointment and embarrassment)’s car.
guess what Carrie said when she got off the car and met Big?
“I KNOW YOU WOULD DO THIS!”
and she punched her banquette to him repeatedly until it crushed into pieces. then she left.
damn. i can feel my eyes watering.
i know exactly how it feels. i know deep down inside she’s afraid to death
with the wedding. Big has always played an important part in her life, with all the dramas, it’s kinda hard to believe that they finally have their happy ending. Big can always do things, like Big usually does, to hurt her. especially in this wedding day, when she’s in her most fragile situation. and it turns out, he did.
He took off. He come back, but it’s already too late.
A friend asked me, whether if i were Carrie, would I accept Big’s proposal?
I have my own Big. and i instantly remember him when a friend popped this question. and i said No. I wouldn’t accept his proposal.
Why?
Because I can no longer trust my happiness with him.
There has been too much drama between us. On and Offs. Best friends or Lovers. Me, having all this loving feelings for him, and it’s always him who turns his back on me. He keeps chasing his so-called-chemistry, no matter the chemistry has stabbed him in the back.
Even when i was with him for the second time, the fright is always there.
afraid that he’ll hurt me once again. afraid that he’s going to leave. and he actually did. he left. for his work, his dreams. the ones i always being supportive about.
so i guess, there’s too much pain in the past. too much drama.
i can no longer trust him with my happiness, although deep down inside i have to admit he’s the one who can make my tummy feels all butterfly-y.
Brave Carrie. She can forgive and trust Big again with her happiness.
Although he devastated her on her very fragile moment, but she’s standing tall, to head towards the marriage with the man of her dream.
Too bad the movie stops there. I would like to see how they are doing after the marriage.
Because maybe the marriage is the happy ending for the movie, but my life wouldn’t stop at marriage.
So, i am sorry, My Big.
I would have to turn down your proposal.
(yeah. right. like he’s already proposing, hahahaha. it’s just a random thoughts, you know 
)
